


Hidden Pain

by RatonLaveur



Category: Free!
Genre: Feels, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:18:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5202152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatonLaveur/pseuds/RatonLaveur





	Hidden Pain

_I thought you will never leave me… You were supposed to stay with me till the end… I know we never promised each other something like that, but it was written deep in our hours. And now you are gone._

That was what Haruka thought, looking at the ocean which was suddenly so calm and innocent it was almost ridiculous. Haruka couldn't stand the nice looking waves, moving so happily, pretending like nothing has happened. Like those waves weren't the ones that swallowed Makoto the other day.

It was like a cruel irony of fate. The destiny was unashamedly laughing at their lives… and deaths. Haruka couldn't explain the fact, that Makoto was killed… no, murdered by his biggest fear any other way.

Now it was up to him to fear the ocean. But he wasn't going to fear it. It made him hate it. He hated the terribly strong, yet oddly calm power that took his most precious thing, the person he treasured so much without even being aware of that, away from him. He couldn't forgive the ocean, as well as he couldn't forgive Makoto for leaving him.

Even though he was pretending to blame everything around him, the one he was blaming the most was Haruka himself. He was the one to tell Makoto to go on the boat with his college friends. He said nothing bad can happen. Everything is okay, Makoto doesn't have to be paranoid. The weather should be nice anyway.

The blizzard was unexpected. And unexpectedly strong.

Everything Haruka could think about was Makoto, frozen in his panic attack, unable to move. There was no one to save him, the others were busy saving themselves. Nobody even noticed his problems, everyone knew he was a good swimmer, so there was no reason for him to need help, right?

Only Haruka would know about it, but he wasn't there to help him. The only thing he did for Makoto was to send him on this horror trip, knowing his issues. He let him die alone in the depths of the ocean Makoto feared so much.

Haruka felt goosebumps running over his body just imagining the situation. He was also kind of… empty. Like a part of him was buried deep in the ocean as well. Maybe it wasn't just a feeling. It wasn't only a metaphor for him.

Suddenly, he realised that there are thousands of words he needs to say, to talk about with Makoto, to tell him all of those things and it's not possible anymore. He missed his chance, but it wasn't like that at all. Because they were supposed to have more than just a few chances to talk. They should have had the entire life when they could talk things through properly, without worrying whether they can't make it in time.

The fairy tale was over, everything was over, Haruka felt numb. He couldn't feel anything, not even the cold wind nor the sand underneath his feet, except for the pain, resonating through his body like he was hit by a lightning. He would rather be hit by a lightning than facing Makoto’s empty grave.

He slowly turned away and walked off, unable to look at it anymore. It was too definitive, too painful. He was too weak to just deal with it. And he knew he will never be able to. He will keep this pain in his heart till the very end.


End file.
